Title: Machete (20th Century Fox)
Genre: Action
Personal Rating: 7/10They just f**ked with the wrong Mexican.
He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys! Story revolves around Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), a skilled Mexican Federal Agent who was thought to have been killed after being double-crossed by his former boss.
Now in hiding as an illegal immigrant in Texas, Machete can't seem to get away from trouble. He was hired to kill the "anti-Mexican" Senator McLaughlin (Robert de Niro), and for the second time double-crossed and is now a wanted criminal pursued by hot police babe Sartana (Jessica Alba).
Together with the help of She (Michelle Rodriguez), leader of an underground Mexican group disguised as a Taco shop owner, Padre (Cheech Marin), a gunning kickass priest, a whole lot of illegal Mexican immigrants, and his arsenal of machete knives, Machete leads to get revenge and finally show that they really messed up with the wrong Mexican.
Well you bet. The story is shallow and comical. There's blood and gore and violence. A lot of hacking and slashing with the overrated machete. And I actually enjoyed watching it! It was like watching a Quentin Tarantino film in Mexican theme.
See Michelle Rodriguez kick ass with a nice body and an eyepatch. See Lindsay Lohan (yes her!) in 'frontal' splendor, and in another scene dressed as a nun with a heavy gun. See Jessica Alba in the shower naked. See sexy scantily-clad Mexican nurses shower ammo to enemies. See (sorry to interrupt the flow of sexy ladies) a priest gun down church invaders with shotguns. See Machete use someone's guts to rappel out of a building (yikes..). OH i almost forgot, see Steven Seagal come back on-screen with real hefty "getting-old" blubber attached to him and be macheted by Machete through the gut.
The theme itself is controversial and racist. The popular cast also made controversies themselves. And they casted an unknown goon-faced guy in a leading role who gets all the pretty women in this film!
Well actually, I have spotted Mister Machete in many random action movies as the bad guy. We might see more of him in upcoming action films, but for me he will be forever tagged as Machete, the Mexican guy you don't want to mess with.
So why does this film kick ass even if it was this kind of old-school shallow B-movie? Because it was meant to be an old-school shallow B-movie.
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